We just celebrated the 250th anniversary of America’s independence, including its freedom of speech. But just because you can legally say whatever you want doesn’t mean everything is right or appropriate. Here are 14 things Jews don’t say, for reasons ranging from the religious to the ethical to the esoteric.
1. G‑d’s Names
The third of the Ten Commandments instructs, “Do not take the name of the L-rd your G‑d in vain.”1 We mention G‑d’s name often in prayer and blessings, but we’re careful not to utter any of His names (there are seven in all) anywhere else—and that goes for other languages, too, not just Hebrew.2
When referring to G‑d outside of prayer, it is customary to say “Hashem,” Hebrew for “the Name.” Other common alternatives are “Oybershter” (“Above”) in Yiddish and “Almighty” in English.
Read: What Does Hashem Mean?
2. Gossip
The Torah forbids lashon hara, malicious speech about another person, even if it’s true. An innocent-seeming piece of gossip can do real damage, breaking apart families and friendships even when the speaker never meant any harm. Lashon hara is so intolerable that our sages compare it to idolatry!3
Read: Lashon Hara
Kabbalah adds a fascinating layer: words aren’t just passive descriptions but active forces. Speak negatively about a friend, and you actually draw out that negative potential in them. Speak positively, and you help bring out their best.4
3. Hurtful Speech
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will always hurt me.” The Torah prohibits hurtful words, and doubly so toward someone more vulnerable, like a widow, orphan, or convert. We must be sensitive to others’ feelings and avoid anything that might shame, embarrass, or hurt. In fact, our sages teach that someone who embarrasses a friend in public forfeits their share in the World to Come!5
Read: Hurtful Words
4. Giving the Satan Bad Ideas
“If I get into a car crash, let it be atonement for my sins!” Sounds pious, right? But the Talmud actually discourages statements like this. The Satan—the accusing angel who looks for faults among the Jewish people—can claim to G‑d, “Look, he himself admits he deserves punishment!”6 It’s always best to avoid predicting or mentioning the possibility of a future negative occurrence, for ourselves or anyone else.
Read: Satan—A Test, Not a Trap
5. Euphemisms, Instead of Negative Terminology
Maybe this is why Jews often reach for euphemisms instead of harsh terms. When the Talmud talks about punishment befalling the Jewish people, it describes it as happening to “the haters of Israel.”7 A blind person, in Talmudic language, is sagi nahor, “someone with abundant light.” The practice continues today with phrases like “yene machla” (Yiddish for “that sickness”) instead of naming cancer, and “after 120 years” instead of speaking directly of death.
6. Names of Other “Gods”
“Do not mention the name of other gods; your mouth shall not cause it to be heard.”8 Jews avoid saying the names of idols, foreign deities, and related terms, swapping in euphemisms where needed (like the Chabad rabbi in Santa Monica who refers to his hometown as “Simcha Monica”). Such terms shouldn’t even be used as landmarks (“Go down Main Street until the church, then turn left”).9
7. Swearing
The Torah forbids swearing falsely in G‑d’s name, and actually calls for swearing truthfully—but only in select situations, such as verifying testimony in a Jewish court. Otherwise, swearing is generally frowned upon, even without using G‑d’s name.10
Maimonides writes: “Children should be taught to speak truthfully without swearing, so they don’t grow accustomed to swearing like the gentiles. This is virtually an obligation on their parents and teachers.”11
8. Foul Language
Our choice of words reflects, reinforces, and even shapes who we are. When something makes you angry, the Jewish approach isn’t to curse but to accept it as a G‑d-given challenge meant to make you a better person.12
Read: The Torah on Dirty Words
9. Names of Angels
Kabbalistic literature is full of the names of supernal angels—but that doesn’t mean they’re meant to be said. For mystical reasons, the great kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Ashkenazi (the Arizal) advised against pronouncing an angel’s full name, preferring a shortened form (like mem tet for Matatron, or samech mem for Samael). This doesn’t apply to names also used for people, like Michael, Gavriel, and Raphael.13
Read: What Are Angels?
10. “I Want to Convert You to Judaism”
You won’t hear a Jew say that to a non-Jew. That’s because we don’t proselytize. In fact, when someone approaches a rabbi or Jewish court wanting to convert, they discourage them at first, pointing out the difficulty of fulfilling all 613 commandments and the antisemitism Jews face.14 Judaism believes that every person, Jew and gentile alike, has their own Divine mission through which they can find their ultimate fulfillment.
11. Lies
The Torah instructs us to “distance ourselves from falsehood,”15 and the Talmud is filled with exhortations on the importance of speaking truthfully.16 That’s the Jewish way: truth is a value to be upheld at all costs.
Read: Stay Away from Falsehood
12. “If You Do That, a Dog Will Come and Get You”
Scare tactics like this aren’t the Jewish way of raising children. Beyond the trauma this can create, kabbalistic sources describe spiritual forces of impurity associated with the names of non-kosher animals. Threatening with these animals can invoke these forces, causing the child physical or spiritual damage.17
13. Greeting a Mourner
A warm greeting brings light into someone’s day. In fact, one Talmudic rabbi was known for always being the first to greet another in the street—no one ever managed to beat him to it!18 And yet, there are moments when greeting is set aside. On Tisha B’Av, when we mourn the destruction of the Holy Temple, we don’t greet one another.19 The same goes for greeting a mourner during shivah, the seven-day period of mourning after the death of an immediate family member.20
Read: Greeting a Mourner
14. Negative Swapped for Positive
Wherever a negative word can be swapped for a positive one, that’s the Jewish way to go. The Rebbe modeled this beautifully: a hallmark of his speech was replacing “bad” with “not good.” Instead of calling a hospital beit cholim (“house of the sick”) in Hebrew, he coined beit refuah (“house of health”), and instead of nechei Yisrael (“the disabled of Israel”), injured Israeli soldiers became metzuyanei Yisrael (“the exceptional of Israel”).
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